I am getting up at the crack of dawn on Black Friday to partake in the shopping frenzy. I am. Really. From the other side of the counter. I am going to be that harried salesperson still digesting her Thanksgiving Dinner explaining to a woman trying to return a baking pan still full of burned dinner rolls that we are not responsible for rolls left in the oven at 450ºF for 2 hours. And yes, there are some really cute firemen in Lower Merion. And no, there was nothing wrong with the pan. Oy. Yep, that'll be me.
I really like what I do, and we really don't get the brunt of the Black Friday rush, since we don't sell TV's and tablet computers. It's just that holiday cooking so often brings all the nincompoop cooks into the kitchen, and somehow, the people who sold them their kitchen tools are responsible for their mistakes. Actually it's just a few, but they're so memorable: like how you really shouldn't use the tip of your new ceramic knife to pry the giblet bag out of your still-frozen turkey. Of course, that's our fault that you snapped off half the knife. Or somehow the six bags of cranberries, the six cups of sugar, and the two cups of apple juice you put into that new 2-quart saucepan boiled all over the stove. Of course, that's our fault that you filled it to the tip top and turned the flame on high. Then went and took a shower. No, I'm not going to come clean your range. And I am so sorry that your instant-read thermometer melted all over your turkey because you forgot to remove it and put the turkey back in the oven. Now it doesn't work? Really?
Of course, 99% of the folks who will be in the store will be happy shoppers and cooks, it's just that 1% of ditzes that makes the day so much fun. It really is fun, if you can keep a straight face. We often wonder how so many of them have managed to live as long as they have, unscathed.
Enjoy the holiday weekend, I'll be back with a new recipe on Monday. Off to the races!
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